We can’t help feeling sorry for the accountants and stunt people on Coronation Street who have gone to a lot of time and trouble staging the spectacular minibus crash only to have it rightly overshadowed by the news of Corrie legend Anne Kirkbride’s untimely death.
Here’s hoping Deirdre is somewhere propping up the bar, rolling her eyes at her mother Blanche.
This week’s episodes had the distinct feel of impending doom à la The Poseidon Adventure (for the oldies) or Titanic (for the youngsters) as the factory girls (and boys) set off in their glad-rags to the posh do.
Beth Sutherland has Tina Charles, a pair of platform shoes and some badly fitted carpet to thank for preventing her from boarding the ill-fated vehicle.
Any feminist’s heart would have been gladdened at the sight of such female heroism as the women took the crash in their stride leaving the men either gormlessly blank (Kirk), wooden (Sean) or glazed (Steve).
Who would have thought that Maddie would be the heroine of the night, so calmly taking charge that the only real excitement in the rescue efforts was the heartfelt slap she gave to mum-in-law Sally?
To be fair, Julie came a close second in the heroine stakes, gamely ripping up her imitation silk evening dress for bandages in the style of Scarlet O’Hara (youngsters ask your parents).
Of course, for every heroine there has to be a villainess and Tracy did us proud, stalking like a cat round the mangled minibus until she espied her frenemy Carla. She then surprised us all by doing the decent thing, climbing into the precariously balanced minibus to pull her nemesis to safety – losing a much loved boot in the process.
We did notice Corrie’s “subtle” health warning about wearing seat beats and it does appear that Sinead will be “punished” for not wearing her belt by getting the chop from the street – if only because no one does heartbreak and tears like boyfriend Chesney (ok Tyrone comes close).
You can always rely on Norris to get to the root of the problem, as amid the pandemonium he wondered who would pay for the stricken relatives’ taxis to the hospital. This gladdened our ears, as we solicitors always have to remind our clients to keep receipts for expenses (Norris loving the sound of his own voice would have been a good lawyer).
We imagine that one good thing to come out of the crash will be Steve getting the treatment he needs for his mental health issues (and reconciliation with Michelle).
However poor Steve may find things go from bad to worse if it appears he was uninsured to drive the minibus.
What with his erratic behavior of late and his love affair with a kit car, pilfering the Street Cars bank account to pay for repairs to his new toy, is it likely that Street Cars insurance premiums are paid and up-to-date?
Firstly we need to determine who caused the crash, if we were Steve’s solicitor we would of course argue that those nasty joy riding hoodlums caused the accident.
If the youths were indeed to blame and every effort to identify them fails, the Motor Insurers’ Bureau would pay the personal injury compensation claims.
It is worth noting that if the Motor Insurers’ Bureau did foot the bill, the claimants would lose 25% of their personal injury compensation in solicitor’s fees – we’re sure Tracy would have lots to say about this, her dreams of designer boots fading faster than it took Steve to lose control of the minibus.
However should the Motor Insurers’ Bureau find that Steve did contribute to the accident (it’s never a good idea to shout abuse at reckless drivers) they would need to determine if he was insured.
As long as his insurance is up-to-date, the Motor Insurers’ Bureau would recoup the costs from Steve’s insurers and there would be pints all round in The Rovers.
However, if he was without insurance, the Motor Insurers’ Bureau would pay off the various personal injury claims of the passengers and then look for repayment back from Steve. (Note to Michelle; don’t expect a big wedding and yes the reception will be in The Rovers).
We would like to dedicate this post to the memory of Anne Kirkbride (1954 – 2015) who will be sorely missed by all of us here at Sud’s Law.